My little rock stars

Memoirs of my mommyhood

The still struggling mom

4 Comments

Bad day in office. Tunmun’s stubbornness. Her reluctance to potty training and having milk in glass. Venky’s never-ending restlessness. I snap at the husband and kids before crashing on bed.

But sleep does not come. I keep tossing and turning. I think of myself when I was in college. I remember my friends had tagged me with the “mast” adjective because of my carefree attitude. I was the happy-go-lucky girl. Nothing bogged me down.

How could I have grown into this irritable woman ? I don’t like her. I don’t want to be her.  After five years, motherhood is still overwhelming for me. When will I get used to it?

Did I make the wrong choice? I never fathomed myself as a family person raising kids anyways. I was the one who wanted high-flying career and a carefree, no strings attached life.

Images of my still single friends and their facebook updates cross my mind. That classmate who has a diva like profile pic and a degree from a coveted school in US makes me burn in envy. Didn’t I always think I was smarter than her?

I feel miserable. What the hell am I doing here? Whose life am I leading? I suddenly get the urge to run away.

Right then, I feel a soft tug on my ear. “Momeeee..”, I hear a whisper. I roll over to the other side and Tunmun snuggles into my arms. The smile returns to my face. I sigh and relax and finally fall asleep to the sound of Tunmun’s even breathing.

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Author: MoRS

Memoirs of my mommyhood

4 thoughts on “The still struggling mom

  1. Hugs and a tight one at that MoRS! that feeling of earlier me and now me and then realizing that there was no mistake made…happens to me too…our children are our anchors…we ought to turn to them when in doubt 🙂

    Hugs once again!

  2. I am with you in getting such thoughts once in a while and many other ifs. But just like you one look at my daughter and all my ifs and buts evaporate in thin air 😀
    The wonders of being a parent 😀 😀
    Hugs dear

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