I have heard that babies initially think that they are just an extension of their parents. Mother mostly. As they grow older they learn that they are independent entities – that is called the “realization of self”. It manifests itself in the form of ego.
Venky as a toddler has put me to shame many times through his selfless acts. I have blogged about it here and here. He has taught me the most important lessons of my life. To forgive. To demostrate love. That a hug can take the whole stress away.
Venky is 3 now. He is slowly changing. We can see that he is developing an ego. Its harder for him to say sorry. If we schold him he sulks and walks away (as against coming and hugging us and saying sorry). Sometimes he shouts back. Its harder to pacify him when he sulks. Hugs and I love yous don’t work easily anymore.
Today Venky was throwing a tantrum after bath. I asked him why he was angry. He said “Because papa is angry. I will not get ready till he remains upset.” I told him that it was not the way to pacify someone who was angry and that he should go and hug papa and say sorry. Venky did go and hug Vibhu after that but did not say sorry.
Sigh. I have teach him now what he taught me. That love and affection should be prioritized above ego. That forgiving and letting go makes a person happier than holding grudges. Its going to be a tough task ( aren’t men all about their egos?). Hopefully he’ll be able to learn some of the values that he demontrated in his toddler avataar from me. That is, till his own toddler teaches him those!